What to do if you’re single on Valentine’s Day

Written By Sarah Jaiyeola

To all the singletons out there! If you’re feeling alone on Valentine’s Day, read this blog to get expert tips and advice from an accredited psychotherapist.

Valentine’s Day can be tough when you’re single. It feels like every ad, every song, and every social post is celebrating couples – and if you’re not part of one, it can trigger feelings of missing out, not being loved or not being enough.

But here’s an important truth: being single is not a failure. Many more people in the world are choosing to be single than ever before. In fact, with previous generations having to rely on partners for financial security, it can be seen as a privilege of modern society.

So, just how many singles are there?

The most recent official data from the UK’s Office for National Statistics shows that:

  • Around 36% of adults aged 16 and over are never married or in a civil partnership – that’s a large and growing proportion of the population.  

  • About 8.4 million people in the UK live alone, which means roughly 30% of UK households are single-person households.  

So if you’re single on Valentine’s Day, you’re far from alone. In fact, you’re in a huge, diverse group navigating life in ways that feel healthy and authentic for them.

Why do singles sometimes feel less valuable?

A lot of the pressure comes from societal expectations around love, status, and ‘success.’

Many people mistakenly believe that:

  • A relationship defines your attractiveness or worth.

  • Being chosen by someone else makes you safer or more secure.

  • You’re incomplete without a romantic partner.

This can drive people to make decisions about partners that maybe they would not otherwise choose, just to avoid being alone.

But let’s challenge that. Ask yourself:

  • What actually causes you to feel different in a relationship?

  • Is the confidence you have when ‘paired up’ actually coming from within you?

  • Do you hold yourself differently when in a relationship; do you feel more secure in yourself and therefore have more confidence to do things and speak to people?

The answer comes from inside you, not from someone else.

You are in charge

Your thoughts and behaviours such as how you treat yourself determine how confident and attractive you feel, regardless of your relationship status.

This is where therapy, especially CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), can be transformative. CBT helps you:

  • Understand the link between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.

  • Notice the unhelpful mental loops that make you feel ‘less than.’

  • Build new patterns that genuinely support your self-worth.

The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Once you truly value who you are, you can choose to be in a relationship because it enhances your life – not because it fills a gap.

So this Valentine’s Day…

If you’re feeling lonely, treat yourself with kindness and respect. Enjoy a moment of relaxation, a little treat, and talk to yourself how you would talk to someone you truly cared about.

Most of all, value yourself just for you.

Sarah Jaiyeola